Friday, December 02, 2011

Not the Onion?

Try to guess....

1. Kidnapper claims kidnapped couple agreed to hide him from police. When police later shot him, he sues for breach of contract.

2. Guelph professor accidentally named Italy's junior agriculture minister

3. Financial professional seeks "holiday girlfriend."

4 comments:

Hasdrubal said...

The breach of contract suit is funny, the cop accidentally shooting him in the back is criminal. Where's the criminal case against the cop?

John Thacker said...

The best part about the professor is that he was very qualified for the post, more qualified than the real guy, who was supposed to be in infrastructure.

Pelsmin said...

I gotta hand it to the Financial Professional. He makes a plea for a girlfriend, and -- despite the long history of Personal Ads providing a forum for embellishment -- can't come up with one attribute to recommend himself. I'm a marketing guy, so I always look for the "value proposition." Here's his: 1) He's there to cuddle. 2)He cooks, but not very well. 3) He can mix drinks 4) He hates holiday music 5) You can take pictures of him. 6) He will kiss you at midnight.
Wow, what a catch. When you think about the plan he has -- cuddle, kiss, get drunk in silence and take pictures -- what girl WOULDN'T want to take him up on that offer?

Anonymous said...

Pardon my ignorance, but shouldn't one of the items be FROM the esteemed ONION?